Snips and Snails
by Azumizai
Summary: France and England work together, forcibly, to raise two adorable children. Canada and America. These are the many one-shot adventures of the whole New Continent family of what it's like to have two children like Alfred and Matthew.  Fluff. Adorableness.


**Genre : **Family, Fluff, Cute

**Rating : **T for safety.

**Disclaimer : **This fanfiction is set in a generalized universe. It is based off of the characters and my interpretations of them, so both anime and manga have been referenced. There might be unintentional spoilers. You have been warned. Also, both country and character names used.

**Characters : **America, Canada, England, France

**Ownership : **HETALIA ISN'T MINE.

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This is going to be a bunch of long-ish one-shot stories about the lives of England, France, America and Canada living together with the twin brothers were but wee little lads. This will be updated randomly whenever I get an idea for a story, or I need to de-stress from writing my other much more... _vicious_ fanfiction. Oh yes. So enjoy! Beware of Cute.

And thank Ophelion for being my beta-reader for this story! Awesomesauce. Thanks.

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**Summary : **What are little girls made of?

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**Sugar and Spice**

England walked around the perimeter of his property slowly, trying to make sure his boots didn't so much as make a sound in the fresh dew-filled October grass. He walked carefully, slowly, and with both of his arms out as if balancing against making any more sound than he already was. He crept along quietly, and cursed the long grass.

He was going to have to hire some local boy to get it cut, or turn an animal loose, like a horse or a goat, to get it down to size. But, for now, that thought was shoved from his mind, and he focused on the task at hand.

With a triumphant smirk spread on his face, Arthur turned and launched himself around the corner, ,snatched his hands around a little waist and hoisted the person up.

"Aha! Got you!"

"U-uwaa!" Little feet kicked and Arthur chuckled. "Aweady!"

"Oh yes. Already." England held the child on his hip so he could see him better, licking his thumb to smooth back that _unruly _hair. "I'm a big grown-up Country, you're just a collection of colonies remember?"

"I'm just widdle..." Alfred pouted, lip jutting out. "You cheated!" He prodded his father-figure in the chest. "You cheated Engwand!"

"Wha? Me? Cheat? I think not. Sort of hard to cheat at that sort of game," he chastised matter-of-factly. "Come come, it's time to eat, and time for tea, mind you." Arthur re-adjusted Alfred, who seemed to be getting bigger every day, and he started on his way back round the house and to the front door. "Enough of fun and games for now."

"I'm hungwy..."

"Well, fancy that," England resisted rolling his eyes at his son's taste for stating the absolute obvious. "We're going to have lunch."

America decided to be quiet and be good, just comfortably being carried off back inside the house and then deposited on an oak chair where the kitchen was. He sat there, kicking his feet and playing with his hands as England looked around the kitchen.

He never quite had _trouble_ feeding the boy. He always ate whatever was put in front of him, but he never could shake the fact that he wasn't feeding him well enough. So he decided to do some simple little sandwiches and some fruit. Nothing that required cooking, despite the fact he knew that the boy'd gobble it up anyway.

Of course, after a few minutes of waiting America started whining, and stating he was going to die if he didn't eat soon, and that his tummy was extra-loud and that he was hungry and starving and he was going to disappear...

Then all was well again when the sandwiches were placed in front of him and he was happily stuffing them in his face.

England sat down with a teacup. He never would ever quite get used to having a child in the household. There was something entirely... different about it. He sighed and he sipped his cup of tea.

"En'wad. Iff Mad'ie grl?" Alfred asked, mouth positively _stuffed_ with food.

Arthur arched a very disapproving eyebrow at his son. He might have been young, and small, but that did _not_ mean he was permitted to speak with his mouth filled to the _brim_ with sandwich. "I _beg_ your pardon?"

America chewed, swallowed thickly, and thumped his chest when it went down too slow, eyes watering. England just quietly slid a glass of water to him, and watched him drink a few gulps.

After a loud and comforted 'ahh', Alfred licked his lips and then spoke again. "I said. Engwad, is Maddie a _girl_?"

England blinked. "I'm sorry. What? I didn't quite catch that." He settled his teacup on its dish.

"I said! Is Maddie a girl?"

"I'm sorry. Pardon? Who?"

Alfred gave a very long and loud exhale of air as if Arthur was the stupidest person he'd ever met. He even flung his hands in the air in indignation. "You know! Maff... Maff... Maff..." His face screwed up. "Maff... Maffoo."

"Maff... Oh! Matthew! You're asking me about Matthew?" England confirmed.

"Yeah!"

"Is Matthew a-... _What?_ No! No! He's not a girl." England answered, quite stunned. "Whatever would make you want to ask that question?"

America shrugged. "Maddie-"

"Please Alfred, Maddie is a girl's name."

"_Maddie_ acts like a girl! He has a teddy bear an' an' he gets all ascarded when I climbed trees! An' he doesn't like to get dirty! An' he pways with stuffed toys and pretends to play house! Borin' stuff!"

"Alfred. You do plenty of those things. You play with Matthew quite a lot, I remember, and he rolled with you in the mud last week, if I _do_ recall by the horrid state of your bedroom," He added flatly. Remembering how muddy their joint-bedroom was.

"I fink he's a girl!" Alfred announced.

"Well he's not."

"Says _who_?"

"Well says me. I bathe you both. I have a pretty good idea that he's not a female."

"Nuh-uh! I fink he's a girl! He's also really _girly_."

England rubbed his temple. "Matthew is just more quiet and conservative than you are. You should try to ask him to play with you more often. You'll find he enjoys playing bobbies and robbers and other such games with you just fine if you included him more."

"I still fink he's a girl!"

"Really now. What's gotten in to you today? Is there some reason you're so animated about it?"

"Fwance stucked Maddi-"

"Matthew."

"- _Maffoo_ in a dwess."

Ah. That explains it. England had moved to sip his tea and stopped mid-sip. His eyebrow twitched and he half-slammed the cup down. "He _what!_"

"Stucked Maddie in a dwess! An' he didn't look _stupid_ like I would!" He exclaimed, arms in the air. "He looked all pwetty like a _girl_ n'stuff!"

England groweled off into the space of the room. "Oh... Oh where is he? Where is he? I'm going to kill him."

America was horrified. "Dun' make Maddie dead! S'just a dwess Engwand! You dun' gotta make him dead!"

"No... No..." England stood, gritting his tea, face black. "Where's the frog-eater? I'm going to kill him for attempting to get my son into one of his _freakish_ habits. Just because _he_ loved to dress bizarrely as a child does not mean _my_ child has to!" He growled. "Oh... if I'm going to make anyone dead it's going to be _that toad_."

America calmed instantly when he learned that his brother was in no immediate harm. "Ohhh! Dat guy? He weft forever ago." America announced and shoved the last sandwich quarter into his mouth. "After he dwessed up Maddie in a dwess."

England's anger deflated and he looked down at his son happily chomping down on the last sandwich. He sat back in his seat, a little stunned now that he had no place to direct his anger properly towards. It just deflated. "Well... Is that so..." He paused. "He's going to get a severe lesson when he next shows his stubbled mug. I'll tell you that right now."

"Mmf." Alfred supplied.

He moved to sip his tea and stopped. "Wait. A _while_ ago now? Has Matthew been in a dress the entire time?" Why hadn't he seen him like that?

"Yup." Alfred kicked his feet, smacking his lips and licking his fingers.

"..."

Wait. He never recalled seeing Canada looking like that. He'd have remembered being confused as to if he had a _daughter_ or not. Just where _was _Matthew to begin with?

"Where _is_ Matthew?"

"Wha? Dun' cha know? Maffoo is pwayin' hide and go seek! Member 'fore you were askin' me what I was doin'? I said I was pwayin hide and seek with Maddie! 'cause he was hidin'. He did dat after France left." He nodded, matter-of-factly.

Arthur greened. That meant that earlier, the child – being Alfred, of course - hadn't given him an invitation to _play_ the game, but rather, he was merely informing him he was _playing_ the game; assumedly with his brother. But it was now obvious that Matthew was not playing a simple game of hide and go seek… No… he ran off hiding obviously right after Francis had left.

Hiding his shame, no doubt.

"Oh dear..."

And he completely forgot about trying to find him. And for lunch even! And now it was all gone, by the looks of the empty plates on the table. The fruit was gone as well.

"... Well. Let's go find your brother."

"Otay!" Alfred said, hopping off of his chair. "But he's really good at hidin'. I fink he cheats."

"Well, I have to admit your brother is very good at becoming invisible from time to time," England said, pushing his chair in.

"No! Not like _dat_. You're just dumb. Maffoo isn't in... in... ... He isn't like _dat_. I mean he _moves _to oder places. When you're pwayin' hide and go seek, you're not supposta _move_." Alfred explained matter-of-factly.

England just listened to him. Quietly. "A... Ah..." Dumb...? "Alright then. Come along. Let's see if we can split up and find him. I'll look in our back yard, and you look inside the house. If I find him, I'll come inside. If _you_ find him, then you come outside. Alright?"

America thought about it, one finger to his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed. "What if we _bof_ find him?"

"I daresay, if we both find him then you have a second brother neither of us ever knew about. Now, go on. Scoot," He began to gesture for him to go looking in the house. "Onward and all that. Go and save your brother."

A light flickered in the boy's eyes and he whooped. "Imma save you Maddie! I'll be your hewo!"

And he ran off.

"... Well ..."

England shook his head, and stepped out the back door to the backyard area. Seeing as Alfred had been back there when he found him, he suspected that perhaps Matthew might be out there as well. They had a large 'backyard'. He intended to fence a part of it off and maybe stable a horse there temporarily when America and Canada got older. So they could learn to ride horses...

But for now it was a large open sort of field, and trees dotted the back area.

The problem was, he had no idea what Matthew was wearing. 'A dwess' just really wasn't a very good description. As he strode through the middle of the field, he contemplated France's tastes.

"Now... what did he say... He said that Matthew looks very good in green, blue or pink... Ah." His face flattened. "He's probably in pink if Alfred was so convinced..."

He did a quick scan, and sure enough, he saw a flash of pink and white in a bush. "... Typical."

Quietly, he stepped up to the bush, and knelt down, putting his hands on the grass, ignoring the fact his nice gloves were going to get muddied, and he lowered his head.

"Matthew, are you in there?"

"D-deres no Mathieu 'ere..." came a small, slightly French-accented voice. "... Nope..."

"Oh. Well that's a shame," England supplied, adjusted himself and sat down on his behind, looping his hands around his knees. "I wanted to speak with Matthew, really."

"... O-oh... I'll... um... t...t... parle-"

Of course. French. "Do you mean 'speak'?"

"... Yeah. I'll speak wiv 'im... I'll speak dat you were 'ere..."

"Well, that's very kind of you, Mr. Plant. But you see, it's past lunchtime, and Matthew has missed his lunch. And I know he's hiding out here somewhere, but I need to find him if I intend to give him his lunch as well." England explained airily, looking forward and not at the pink pile of clothing that was hidden in the bushes rather poorly to the right of him.

"I dun' fink 'e is 'ungry..."

A grumble of a hungry tummy came from the bushes.

"My _goodness_. Are you hungry, Mr. Plant?"

"... Um..."

"Well, that can't do at all. It's only a shame that you are a plant, or I'd invite you for lunch." He then started to get up. "Well, it's been lovely chatting with you, Mr. Plant, but I must find my other son. He must be hungry. He's been out here all day."

He turned and started to count his steps. Backward.

5...

4...

3...

2...

"W-wait!"

Aha. Arthur stopped, giving a triumphant smirk and he turned to see Matthew start to clamber awkwardly out of the bushes. "My my what do we have he-"

His breath stopped short. Matthew may have been a bit ragged around the edges, his hair might have been a bit out of place with golden strands dangling against his forehead. The dress might have been a bit stained with green and brown...

But he was absolutely _adorable_.

Canada was head-to-toe wearing a very adorable French dress, and had his hair pulled up 'just so' and looked every inch like the daughter England never had.

"O... oh..."

Matthew was more concerned about not eating. So he hitched up the stupid long skirts and approached his father.

England saw the little shoes that went with the whole th- He smashed his thoughts down violently. No! No. That's _wrong_. Don't think like that. He was your _son_. Don't go and demean him by thinking that's _adorable_. Stop it! Bad!

He reached down and yanked up Canada heatedly, and thought of what exactly he was going to use to bash over France's head the next time he saw him.

Within minutes, Matthew was on his bed, England was rummaging around in a drawer, and Alfred was laughing at him. Arthur was chucking clothes to the floor in a frustrated pile.

"Dress. Dress. Dress... Dress... Where in the bloody hell did he get all these dresses and in such a short _time_!" England demanded, tossing another dress over his shoulder. "This is bloody ridiculous. I can't believe that frog. He got rid of all the other clothes!"

Canada had not a drop of boy's clothes left. Mind, nothing that he, England, had picked for him. And he thought the lad looked _just fine_ in them anyway. Maybe not quite as adorable...

England sighed and he growled. "I can't believe you don't own a single ounce of boy's clothing Matthew. This is ridiculous. This is completely stupid! I can't believe the frog forced you to wear this!" He stopped his own thoughts and he turned to Canada with a sudden realisation.

He walked over to the bed where Matthew was still in a dress and knelt in front of him.

"Now... Matthew. I haven't heard you once complain about the dress you were wearing. Can I ask you something important? Then you can have some lunch, I promise," he assured, noting how uncomfortable Canada was looking.

"Otay..."

"Do... do you _like_ wearing dresses? Because, if you do... I... I don't think that... uh... That is, that won't really _bother_ me... so much..." He trailed. "I just want to know if France _forced_ you to wear it. Because if he did, then I really want to beat his frilly brains in."

Matthew wasn't so astute with English as either America or England where, being as he was learning French and English at practically the same time, so he had trouble grasping onto things. America re-explained.

"He's askin' you if you like bein' all pwetty like a _girl_ all duh time! An' he wants to beat up Fwance." He looked at England eagerly. "Can I _help_?"

"No."

Matthew responded. "... Oh! Um... Non... Mon Papa... Um... Papa put me in dis. I like wearing what Afwed wears..."

"Ah... Well. Good. That means I can beat France's face in." England stood up and he strode to America's drawers. "I apologize Alfred, Matthew will have to borrow some of your clothes for the time being."

"Nuffin wiv stars on it!"

"Okay. Nothing that has stars on it."

And as Canada was being changed into proper clothes of his choosing (without any stars, of course), England buttoning up the front, he said, "Daddy I 'as a kestion."

"Mmn...? What is it?"

"... Am I a girl?"

Oh for _pete's sake_.

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**Author's Notes** : Gah. I have this belief that Canada was absolutely adorable as a child. I'm sure America was too. Imagine how much England gushed at the two of them though. Imagine. It must have been painful to live around these two adorable tots.

Also, the stories following might have any mix of France and Canada, or England and America or England and Canada or Canada and America, but it has to pertain to the family mostly. I doubt that other characters will appear all that much. For it has to do with the fluff of _this_ family! Woo!

No previews. 'cause I have no clue what the next one will be! XD

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Thanks for reading! **Please read and review!**


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